15 Hilarious Things Students Said On ‘Sh*t My Students Write’

Students say the darndest things. From confusing grammatical terms to simply being confused, they’re often quick to summon up a nonsensical string of words at a moment’s notice. Thankfully, a teacher is keeping track of some of the gems on Sh*t My Students Write. Here’s a quick look at 10 of the funniest (I think) lines found on the site. Enjoy!

  1. “I could blame my results on other factors, like it was the day after Friday when I took it and I had just finished listening to Rebecca Black.” Posted on May 6, 2011
  2. “The potato literally encouraged the Irish to overbreed.” Posted on May 2, 2011
  3. “Although I am my own person, my relationship with my girlfriend of two and a half years has lead to a significant change in almost every aspect of my life such as my behaviors, believes, values, personality, and even my appearance.” Posted on May 1, 2011
  4. “Macbeth couldn’t have loved Lady Macbeth because he was crazy and too busy hallucinating witches and stuff. Also, crazy people can’t do it without going crazy midway through.” Posted on April 27, 2011
  5. “There are many different races of bagels.” Posted on April 26, 2011
  6. “Was it the Revolutionary War or the Civil War that the Japanese dropped the atomic bomb on Pearl Harbor?” Posted on April 25, 2011
  7. “Please keep in mind while reading the following; I am in no way trying to be racist.  It may come off like that, but it is just to support what I think. Instead of accepting that Hispanics and white will be one, I want Hispanics to stop coming to America, and go back to where they came from.  This sounds bad, but I just wants best for me and everyone I know.” Posted on April 21, 2011
  8. “Like a woman seduces a horny man, Hitler captivated the people of Germany.”  Posted on April 18, 2011
  9. “Frederick Douglass coped with his anguish by hopping.” Posted on April 12, 2011
  10. “I’ve lived my whole life on the west coast and to me, the civil war seems like a really really long time ago.” Posted on April 8, 2011
  11. “Whether it’s taking a walk outside, breathing the air, or eating some corn, the environment is almost everywhere you look.” Posted on April 3, 2011
  12. “Rome went on to conquer other territories and planets.”  Posted on April 6, 2011
  13. “Sex is a factor in teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.” Posted on March 12, 2011
  14. “Also, the United States was under strict control by their English rulers. When people are under strict supervision and a harsh set of rules and expectations, eventually something will have to give. The Revolutionary War was exactly that, the reaction from Americans once they realized they could not longer put up with the controlling power bloc. Similarly, teenage girls in the sixties experienced a similar phenomenon: Beatlemania.” Posted on March 7, 2011
  15. “Since the beginning of time, the national language of Australia has been English.” Posted on February 12, 2011